January is the month for setting goals and intentions for the new year. It can also be about learning to set new boundaries. Some people think of boundaries as negative things, ways of keeping people out of something…but really, boundaries are for protecting yourself, they’re there to keep you and yours safe and sacred, even [read more]
About Inara de Luna
Inara de Luna is a bisexual, polyamorous, kinky pagan who is also a Relationship Coach and a Sexuality Educator. She is a Gender, Sexuality & Relationship Diversity Specialist, with training and experience as a Marriage & Family Therapist. Inara is a sex positive activist, a published author, and a national presenter. She prefers to support those whose identities fall outside the mainstream norms. For more information, you can find her online at www.Sex-Positive-Coach.com or on FacebookK/a>.
Crafting Chosen Family Traditions Can Help Dispel Holiday Blues
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A client once told me a story about how she learned to deal with her holiday-related loneliness and depression. Once upon a time, this client (let’s call her Sara) fell in love with a man…and a woman. She married the man, and kept the girlfriend (with her husband’s consent and approval). At one point, they [read more]
The Importance of Touch & Containment in a Relationship
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PDA: A Heterosexual Privilege I remember when I first came out as bisexual twenty something years ago, I became acutely aware of the heterosexual privilege I’d taken for granted up until then. Suddenly, I didn’t feel comfortable displaying affection for my girlfriend in public. It made me feel somewhat estranged from her, because we had [read more]
Dealing with Stress: Do You Turn Toward, Away From, or Against Each Other?
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Turning Toward, Away, or Against When stress occurs in your life or relationship, do you and your partner turn toward each other for support, soothing, and assistance? Do you try to protect your partner (or yourself) by keeping things to yourself and turning away from your partner? Or do you turn on each other and [read more]
Who Wears the Pants? How to Respond with Grace & Positivity
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Offensive remark? Or opportunity for education? I recently attended a gathering and overheard some people discussing a relative who had come out as lesbian and married her longterm female partner. The piece of the discussion that caught my attention was, “What do we call this person? Who wore the suit and who wore the dress [read more]
The Healthy Purpose of Jealousy
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The Potential for Jealousy is Doubled for Bisexuals Bisexuality is often invisible because the problems bisexual people face are often identical to those faced by everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. Bisexuals are, before anything else, people and they each have their own quirks and things that make them unique from other people and other bisexuals. [read more]
The Freedom to Marry…and Divorce
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Do You Marry a Person or Their Genitals? In considering my own upcoming nuptials, I find myself reflecting a lot on marriage, commitment, and vows, as well as shifting roles and identities. I am marrying someone with whom I am deeply in love and who brings to our union most of the qualities I have [read more]
Can Bisexuals Really Be Monogamous?
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One of the myths that bisexuals hear a lot is this belief that since a bisexual person is attracted to both genders, they must be unable to be in relationship with just one person, because then they wouldn’t be getting all their needs met. This can be a difficult myth to overcome and can get in [read more]
Orientation vs Behavior vs Identity: Labeling Bisexuals
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In light of the March 20 article in the New York Times, “The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists,” I feel compelled to address the topic of orientation vs behavior vs identity and labeling bisexuals. Bisexuals, especially, can identify with the differences associated with these different concepts, but they often get muddy for others whether [read more]
