From 15 years to 1… I’d been with my previous partner for close to 15 years. This article isn’t really about that relationship. I just mention it to illustrate how out of touch I am when it comes to new relationships. I expected my current partner to just “know” that I hate mushrooms, am a [read more]
Resolve to be Less “Nice” & Set Better Boundaries for the New Year
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January is the month for setting goals and intentions for the new year. It can also be about learning to set new boundaries. Some people think of boundaries as negative things, ways of keeping people out of something…but really, boundaries are for protecting yourself, they’re there to keep you and yours safe and sacred, even [read more]
“Pass the Carbs, Please.”
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Oh, the Holidays. They can mean so many different things to so many different people. It can be about the warmth and comfort of being with family. It can be about making your own traditions with your own unconventional, modern family. It can be about just getting through it with a carefully planned, tactical playbook, [read more]
Your Secret Remedy Against Heartbreak
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We hear so many stories about women breaking other womens’ hearts. For instance: Jill broke up with Nadine just weeks before their wedding, with no explanation. Felicity let Keisa support her through years in prison, then dumped her for someone else when she got out. Laurie asked Evan to put their relationship “on hold” while [read more]
What’s really important…
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Last weekend I got a scare. Luckily it wasn’t a bad one but it did make me “adjust my perspective” about what is really important in my life. I was home watching our littlest and watering the house plants when my partner called me. We usually text each other and she’d already texted saying she [read more]
The Importance of Touch & Containment in a Relationship
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PDA: A Heterosexual Privilege I remember when I first came out as bisexual twenty something years ago, I became acutely aware of the heterosexual privilege I’d taken for granted up until then. Suddenly, I didn’t feel comfortable displaying affection for my girlfriend in public. It made me feel somewhat estranged from her, because we had [read more]
Love or Lust? Compatible or Not? Here’s How to Know
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So much of the relationship misery and heartbreak we see comes from a few dating and relationship mistakes that are completely AVOIDABLE. Yet most of us make them over and over – I know I did! – simply because we haven’t been educated in how to choose a compatible partner. In 1982, I got together [read more]
Marriage Bells are Ringing: One Man’s Story
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I never thought I’d ever consider marrying – that marriage bells would ring for me. And at my age of 62 I could not imagine another huge life change. But then I had left 37 years of life connected to the church, had tried out a couple of administrative jobs, and finally landed as a life [read more]
Dealing with Stress: Do You Turn Toward, Away From, or Against Each Other?
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Turning Toward, Away, or Against When stress occurs in your life or relationship, do you and your partner turn toward each other for support, soothing, and assistance? Do you try to protect your partner (or yourself) by keeping things to yourself and turning away from your partner? Or do you turn on each other and [read more]
What Kind of Wedding – And Marriage – Do You Want?
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Not everyone wants to get married. In fact, for most of our lives, Michelle and I didn’t want to get married, either. Early on in our relationship, over 8 years ago now, the topic of marriage came up – but at the time it was an impulse, not yet truly right for us, and also [read more]
