We hear so many stories about women breaking other womens’ hearts. For instance: Jill broke up with Nadine just weeks before their wedding, with no explanation. Felicity let Keisa support her through years in prison, then dumped her for someone else when she got out. Laurie asked Evan to put their relationship “on hold” while [read more]
7 Cornerstones of Emotional Safety in Gay Relationships
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We experience the presence or lack of emotional safety in physical, emotional and mental ways. Both feeling safe and not feeling safe can be intense, and powerful because they are felt in so many different dimensions at once. When you don’t feel safe with someone, it’s important to assess the severity of the situation, the [read more]
Do you believe a gay relationship is possible for you?
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More times than I can count, I’ve heard gay and bisexual men say they’ve given up looking for love. This comes up in conversations and even more in surveys where many men feel safer to speak their mind. The plague of giving up and not believing a gay relationship is possible Giving up is a [read more]
Finding Miracles in Relationships
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When miracles in relationships happen they aren’t always what we expect. Roberto Rossellini’s Voyage to Italy recently aired on TCM. Made in 1954, it stars George Sanders and Rossellini’s wife, Ingrid Bergman. The story takes a slice out of the life of a wealthy English couple traveling in Naples, Italy to take possession of a [read more]
How to Know When You’ve Recovered After A Gay Relationship Breakup
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Relationships can be the most rewarding – and sometimes the most emotionally risky – things that people experience. You’re likely to be the most keenly aware of both the risks and the rewards when you’ve recently broken up, but haven’t fully recovered from the experience. Some breakups are more difficult than others to recover from. [read more]
The Power of Journaling
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Seven years ago I went through a powerfully painful, life-shattering breakup. (We’ve all been there, right?) Over the following four years I rebuilt myself using a variety of tools and methods, which included excellent food choices, daily yoga and meditation, nourishing friendships, supportive coaching and counseling, regular juice fasting and detox practices, travel and… journaling. My journaling [read more]
Freedom from Narcissism
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Narcissism if often part of family life. Last year my older brother Ted and I had a major falling-out. It brought to mind a moment when as a parish priest I was hearing the confession of a parishioner who felt guilty around his alcoholic sister. Jim spoke of his frustration that she was so anti-social and [read more]
Keeping Score: Sex – 0, Intimacy – 0, Love – 0, Relationship – 0
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Final score or keeping score in sex, intimacy, love and relationships… We’re doing it. Love is a battlefield, a game, a journey, all centered around the big “R” word – RELATIONSHIP. We all, for the most part, desire to be in one. Primping, preening, finding just the right things to say, to land Mr. or [read more]
Put Yourself On A Dating Time Out
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You desperately want a boyfriend. You have profiles on OkCupid, Scruff, Grindr, Timbr, and every other gay dating app known to man, and check them frequently. You’re on a date at least once a week, and out at the clubs the rest of the time trying to hook up with someone. Yet for all [read more]
Orientation vs Behavior vs Identity: Labeling Bisexuals
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In light of the March 20 article in the New York Times, “The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists,” I feel compelled to address the topic of orientation vs behavior vs identity and labeling bisexuals. Bisexuals, especially, can identify with the differences associated with these different concepts, but they often get muddy for others whether [read more]
