Marriage Bells are Ringing: One Man’s Story

I never thought I’d ever consider marrying – that marriage bells would ring for me.  And at my age of 62 I could not imagine another huge life change.  But then I had left 37 years of life connected to the church, had tried out a couple of administrative jobs, and finally landed as a life   [read more]

Real Men Are Enablers  

Dysfunction usually involves two parties: the person with the self-destructive behavior and a second person who encourages or makes easier the negative or self-destructive behavior. We call this second person an enabler. Most enablers realize too late that they’ve been sucked into an ever-increasing downward spiral centered on a sick dynamic.  And contrary to popular   [read more]

Is it possible to be LGBT and spiritual?

Being aware of my gayness and my coming out later in life has added an important dimension to my spirituality.  As a Catholic priest I had always been a spiritual person, inspired by nature, by the heroic virtues I saw in others, and by my religious faith.  When I left ministry five years ago and   [read more]

Finding Miracles in Relationships

When miracles in relationships happen they aren’t always what we expect. Roberto Rossellini’s Voyage to Italy recently aired on TCM.  Made in 1954, it stars George Sanders and Rossellini’s wife, Ingrid Bergman. The story takes a slice out of the life of a wealthy English couple traveling in Naples, Italy to take possession of a   [read more]

Freedom from Narcissism

Narcissism if often part of family life. Last year my older brother Ted and I had a major falling-out.  It brought to mind a moment when as a parish priest I was hearing the confession of a parishioner who felt guilty around his alcoholic sister.  Jim spoke of his frustration that she was so anti-social and   [read more]

Courage, Clarity, and Dating

I came out rather later in life and found asking someone I liked out for a date to be daunting. I have a serious hearing problem that makes group conversation difficult and so I tend to feel lost in the chatter. Also having someone to myself for a few hours is like a satisfying meal   [read more]

Would I Date Me?

Sometimes life comes along and snaps you out of your misery pit and you end up asking yourself, “Would I date me?” Once when I was in my late 30’s, totally single, and working as a medical case manager for a big insurance company, I found myself in a situation. Being a lesbian with a soft   [read more]

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