Would I Date Me?

Sometimes life comes along and snaps you out of your misery pit and you end up asking yourself, “Would I date me?”

Once when I was in my late 30’s, totally single, and working as a medical case manager for a big insurance company, I found myself in a situation.ButtOnCouch

Being a lesbian with a soft spot for cats (of course!)- I got bit by a stray that was hanging around by my front door, and ended up with a massive infection in my hand.

I had to be hospitalized for 3 days, and ended up working from home for a while as I was following up with wound care and on medication.

Working From Home – A Blessing and A Curse

Working from home was a new concept to me, and I loved it.

I could sleep until 5 minutes before I had to log on to my work system. I could be in my pajamas and slippers all day. I could drink coffee round the clock, I could free feed throughout the day- snacking, munching, nibbling.

It was blissfully quiet, as everyone in my apartment complex was at work. I went for hours without moving off the comfy sofa, laptop perched on the coffee table. When I would finally get up for something, this old-man-groan escaped me.

I left clothes in the dryer for days. I didn’t feel like folding them because that would mean getting up again. I barely took the trash out because I didn’t feel like walking the 50 feet to the dumpster…outside.

I was living off frozen pizzas and Triscuits. Some days, I worked well into the evening because I lost track of time. That’s not all I lost track of…

Spot The Signs!

Over a period of about 3 weeks, I blew out the ass of my favorite pajama pants. That’s right. I split ’em like a coconut. My t-shirts felt snug and not in a good way, like a Hollister model would wear.

I had no energy at all, my hair looked like something birds lived in, I hadn’t put on make-up in over 21 days, and I hadn’t seen another living creature since I left the hospital.

I hadn’t eaten a green leafy thing since…I couldn’t even remember. All because I was thinking, “Who cares? No one is going to see me.” Oh sure, I talked to my family on the phone, I answered emails and kept up with Facebook, but seriously- I had turned into a sloth-like, hermit who never leaves the house.

Would I Date Myself?

What got me back on track was a simple “wink” someone had sent to my online dating profile. I heard the beep, looked at the little winky smiley face and caught a reflection of myself in my cell phone. Was that ME?! Then, I had a number of thoughts creep into my mind, like “Would I date myself?” “Would I want to hang out with me like this?” I answered “no” to both and that’s when I knew I had to get my act together. “What if a hot UPS chick dropped a package off for my neighbor?” I had to get back in the game, and fast.

What Can I Do?

For the next few weeks while I finished my time working from home, I made a few easy, positive changes. I didn’t want to set myself up for failure so I started with simple things, like getting up a bit earlier, getting ready for a “work” day like I normally would, in regular clothes. Limiting myself to 1-2 cups of coffee then switching to water for the day. Making decent meals, keeping up with laundry, trash, even going to an actual grocery store after work time and getting decent, healthy food. Even leafy, green stuff! Doing some stretching, bending, reaching when doing chores (between phone calls and work). Getting some routine activity, fresh air and in the evenings – socialising again. Seeing friends, dropping by my parents’ house, holding normal conversations. Whew! I started feeling like myself again.

I learned a big lesson about balance and making the right choices. I also learned not to take complete and utter advantage of a good thing. Moderation goes a long way. Keep yourself on track by checking in with YOU and ask yourself every once in a while, “Would I date me?” If the answer is no, better figure out why and what you can do to change it.

I got myself to a good place before heading back to the office, and  before answering that winky, smiley face sender on the dating site. Now, I was feeling much better mentally and physically. Bring on the hot UPS lady, I was ready!

About Denise Warner-Gregory

Denise Warner-Gregory hosts the successful, funny podcast “The
Lesbian Lounge” on iTunes & Podbean. At the age of 45, she's lived in
NY, FL and now resides happily in London with her wife, Jemma. Denise
contributes regularly to many popular LGBT blogs, websites & resources
and hosts live events in both the US and the UK.